Whoever loses her life will find it

God Wins from The Austin Stone on Vimeo.

 HT: challies.com

 I watched this video earlier and couldn't help but cry. I think about death frequently, and especially premature death. I suppose it goes with the territory in being a hospice nurse. Every time I see a video or hear a story like the one above, it gives me a renewed desire to "turn up the volume" on living my life. I want to be a better wife, a better mother, a more devoted Christian, etc. But I often feel very frustrated in my attempts. What does that even look like, you know? I can throw a load of laundry into the washer with joy and vigor today, but the truth is that housework is monotonous and eventually I will just be going through the motions again. And does it really matter anyway? Is that what it means to turn up the volume? Is that how I make each day count? Yes, I can be more aware of each detail and more content while I squish together playdoh figures for my kids. And that's good! But can life ever be "grasped"? What can we ever really do other than just living our lives? I believe the full, absolute, and only way to truly turn up the volume and make our lives count is to love God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind. He is the only One who is worthy and worth our life, love, and affection. And in addition, when we love Him supremely every other detail falls into place. When I love God wholeheartedly I am patient with my kids. When I love God wholeheartedly I am able to love my husband more than myself. When I love God wholeheartedly there is joy in every rain drop and beauty in every blue sky. HE is the answer. HE is turning up the volume. HE is the only way to save my life.

 "Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 16:25